first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
