I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
