I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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