I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
