you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
