Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
