My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
