Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
