I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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