I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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