I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
