if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she pinky promised me she was 18
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize