I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
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He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
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Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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