Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
