the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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