i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
