i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
