I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I came so hard my ears popped.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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