Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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