If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
