What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize