im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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