Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
