it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
