What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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