you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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