why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
no you cant smoke seaweed
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
