We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
