maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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