God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
