He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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