How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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