Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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