i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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