Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
