holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
