She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
