He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
