whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
