Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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