I wannas sexs uuuuu
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
