There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
