i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
