The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
