i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
