He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
only you would photoshop your dick
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
