After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I smell like Dick and happiness
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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