If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wish I could punch you in the face.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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