Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
