you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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