none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
