Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
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