so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You ruined the universe
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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