you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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