glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
