Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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