i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
