thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
