Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize
