Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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